Most people do not negotiate their salary. They accept the first number offered because the conversation feels risky, and the discomfort of asking outweighs the potential gain in the moment. But the gain is real. Studies consistently show that most employers expect negotiation and that the first offer is rarely the final one. Not negotiating is a choice, and it tends to cost money.
Know what the number should actually be
Before any conversation, look up what people with your role, experience, and location are actually being paid. Glassdoor, LinkedIn Salary, the Bureau of Labor Statistics, and industry-specific salary surveys all give you real data. Walking in with a number that is grounded in market research is a completely different conversation from just saying you want more. You are not asking for a favor; you are referencing information.
For new job offers, wait for a specific number first
If a hiring manager asks what salary you are looking for early in the process, it is fine to redirect by saying you'd like to learn more about the role before discussing specifics, or that you are open and want to understand the full compensation picture. Once they make an offer, you have something concrete to negotiate against. Anchoring too early can limit you in either direction.
The actual words to use
When you respond to an offer, something like this works well: "Thank you, I'm genuinely excited about this role. Based on my research into the market and my experience with X and Y, I was hoping we could get to [your number]. Is there flexibility there?" That is it. You are not issuing demands. You are asking a straightforward question. Most hiring managers respond to this normally because they have heard it before.
For a raise at your current job
The timing matters more in this case. Asking after a visible win, at a performance review, or when taking on additional responsibilities gives you a natural hook. The conversation is helped by being specific: "I've taken on the X project and our team's output has increased by Y. I'd like to talk about adjusting my compensation to reflect that." Specific contributions are much easier for a manager to bring to their own leadership than a general request for more money.
What if they say no
A no is not the end. You can ask what it would take to get to that number, or when the next review cycle is. You can also ask about non-salary compensation like extra time off, remote work flexibility, or professional development budget. Sometimes those have more room to move than base salary. And if the answer is firmly no with no path forward, that is useful information about how the organization values your role.